The World Cup is a week old already and it’s been one heck of a experience up to now.
On Tuesday, four nations made their tournament bows, while our gracious hosts reminded us that they aren’t here just to make up the numbers.
Here’s how it went down …
So the day prior to this, I was true, really busy seeking to get toothpaste to move lower back inside the tube, are you able to inform me what I neglected?
Japan shocked Colombia after Carlos Sánchez picked up the second fastest red card in World Cup history for an insane deliberate handball after just two minutes and 56 seconds.
02:56 – Carlos Sanchez’s red card after two minutes and 56 seconds is the second fastest shown in World Cup history, after Jose Alberto Batista for Uruguay vs Scotland in 1986 (54 seconds). Handed. #COL #COLJPN #WorldCup
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) June 19, 2018
Senegal became the first African team to score and win at this summer’s tournament when they beat Poland, prompting this wonderful celebration from their affable coach Aliou Cissé.
ALIOU CISSE❤🇸🇳 pic.twitter.com/Urg4A1Yiml
— DiosBekeme🇸🇳🇪🇸 (@DBekeme) June 19, 2018
And Mohamed Salah’s World Cup debut goal wasn’t enough to prevent Egypt succumbing to a 3-1 defeat at the hands of Russia – a result which effectively sends the hosts through to the last 16.
Moscow erupts! 🙌
Russia fans go mad as their side go 3-0 up and all-but seal their qualification from Group A 🇷🇺
— talkSPORT (@talkSPORT) June 19, 2018
OK. Sounds interesting. If you had to pick the best moment though, what would you go for?
Probably Artem Dzyuba’s superbly taken goal to make it 3-0 in Saint Petersburg. These Russians look surprisingly handy, don’t they?
What are you inferring?
I think you mean implying.
Okay, what are you implying?
Right, whatever. So what was your worst moment?
Probably that aforementioned Sánchez red card. Pretty funny if you’re not Colombian, but can you imagine building up to a World Cup for four years and then getting sent off after less than three minutes?
Hmm, I need something to lighten the mood after that. What did you get from yesterday that will make me laugh?
Sticking with Colombia, and it turns out their legendary midfielder Carlos Valderrama and his wife go to the same hairdresser.
— Neil Sherwin (@neilsherwin) June 19, 2018
Did anyone say anything interesting yesterday?
There was this bizarre story about how Poland captain Robert Lewandowski likes to pretend his name is “Emil” when he’s out in public.
“It is pure coincidence and I don’t use it that much, but it is helpful when we are with friends somewhere,” he told the Guardian.
“For example, in a restaurant, we talk and laugh, but don’t use ‘Robert’ or ‘Lewy’. And in that situation, I’m Emil. No one turns around or looks in my direction. And if someone thinks they have recognized me, and ask if I am Robert Lewandowski, I simply say ‘Sorry, it’s a mistake, I just look like him. I’m Emil, not Robert.”
He was pretty incognito on the pitch yesterday too. Honk!
This may surprise you but I’m into visual art. Can you show me a picture from yesterday that evokes all the emotion of the World Cup?
Russia is actually going to win the World Cup. Remember where you heard it first.
You know what? I am sick of football. What else could I be watching today?
To be sick of football is to be sick of life itself, but if you must do something else, we’d heartily recommend you check out the American comedy-drama series Atlanta, written by and starring the uniquely talented Donald Glover.
You can thank us later.